Saturday, March 31, 2007

so today was spent doing nothing, which was fun haha. except for the birthday party... but that wasn't much either. we just sat around & ate alot. & watched parts of Harry Potter. & watched nine year old boys running around like mad idiots. haha.

thanks for the invite Shameen :) yes, i will go to the restaurant for lunch one day!


& then we explored Bugis. usually i just go Bugis to eat & sheesha afterwards, so that's like only one part of it. but we basically explored almost the whole area, which was pretty cool. it was almost a different world itself, when normal civilisation (malls, etc) was only a mile or less away.


along the way we came to a quaint little double-storey shop with lots of antiques & whatnot. the first time i stepped into it was with Sharatul, during our field trip to the Batik shop. but i went in anyway; the things they had on display were definitely worth more than one trip inside.

they had this gramaphone which the old guy was selling for only $280.. although we kinda think he'd probably put it down to $200 cos it's the last piece. & he sounded kinda desperate to sell it off, haha. plus, he'd throw a record in for free! super cool. & kinda cheap too if you think about it.


the stuff on display were LOADS. like, the guy probably had alotta junk & then decided one day that he'd open a shop & make a hell lotta money from it aye? haha. maybe i should do that too considering i have alotta junk in my room.

there were a lotta drinks from the past on display too. like, YEARS of collection of drinks. coke, sprite, fanta, etc. drink it now & it'd probably be instant poison.

can you imagine, in those times, when there were emergencies & u had to dial the police cos there was a murderer in your house? i tested the time taken to dial 999.
let's just say you'd die before you can turn the last time.

with all the excitement, i didn't even check the name of the shop.


well that was pretty much the hype of the day. expect less to happen till poly start cos that's how life's gonna be for the next twelve days. been eating alot though, & it doesn't help that i have a box of Dunkin' Doughnuts in the fridge.

seems like everyone's getting a Macbook Pro.


maybe not everyone, but a whole lot of people.

okay, so it's pretty very sexy. in the sense that it's sleek & smooth. & to die for. & whatever reasons those Apple fans come up with.

plus i got fascinated (once) with the whole camera shizz, & the different effects & all.

but after browsing through SO MANY Friendster profiles & seeing SO MANY people having their pictures taken with the Macbook Pro cam, it just got a little too blah for me.

& then there's the Sony VAIO. the one with many different colors. the C series.

now this, i like VERY MUCH :)

damn sexy right? especially the pink one.

or the lime green isn't too bad as well.

how many people do you see with a lime green notebook? not many right? so i can be the special minority! haha.

but i haven't checked the price. & so far Daddy has only looked through the offers of notebooks given in the enrolment package. which consisted of only Acer & Fujitsu models.
& i prefer Fujitsu over Acer. for some reason the former choice turns out the be the most reliable, usually.

we agreed on the model S7110, cos it's heavily subsidised, & the upgrades are cheaper cos it's subsidised by NYP. & it weighs only 4.5 lbs. super portable. it comes with Windows XP, although Vista capable.

was thinking of getting a tablet PC, but feedback i get from some people about it's sensitivity & features are mixed.


but you know me. i'm so materialistic & shallow. if you know about these kinda things & you're aware of the needs (& wants) of a Poly student, help me. it's not on my mind 24/7, but i want to get this done no later than orientation.


gonna go help Shameen with her brother's party at Bugis now.
although i'm very late. heh.

toodles. x

12:58 PM

3 | comments

Friday, March 30, 2007

withdrawal symptoms.

OH.MA.GAWD.

it was like for a day, Singapore was being taken over & run by super-drop-dead-gorgeous thin models with super-nice hair & bodies even French girls would kill for. unless they're French. 'cos most of 'em running around in town today were caucasians.

i was almost prepared to see Kate Moss pop outta nowhere.


so i put two & two together & assumed there must be some fashion show somewhere. at first i thought of the one at Raffles City @ 7pm, but most of the girls (& ooh-la-laaaaa HOTTT GUYS!) were around Orchard & such. i didn't bother finding out about any because i was too wound up getting from the clinic at Taka to the California Fitness building for my x-ray. damn leceh, i tell you. & all for a stupid ten second radiology exam. WTH. I COULD STILL BE IN JAKARTA FOR CHRISSAKE!

anyway.

they were everywhere. & it's not a good thing being surrounded by these kinda people, doesn't do much for anyone's self-esteem. but who knows, they could be just the same. hmm.
but seriously, i turn left & right & look across the street... gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. it's like they had an instant spotlight or somethin'.

there were a few girls in the train towards City Hall & they had portfolios of themselves. they were what, a metre away? so i kaypoh-ed (duh, LOL) & sneaked a peek at their shots. STUNNING. with or without makeup these kinda people were like, made to be who they are now.

i was honestly in awe. like, how could people be that hot & maintain their bodies to such perfection right? EVEN THE GUYS. oh man, i almost died cos the heat was really getting to me. even though the sun was pretty hot today. the heat radiating from these people were like phwoar.

okay, exaggeration MUCH. but it's not everyday you see these kinda stuff, even for an observer/people-watcher like me so it was fun while it lasted. haha.



btw, have i mentioned that I AM BORED?

i was just getting used to watching the tube within an hour of getting up till about a few minutes before i sleep. having noise surround me. the screams of a toddler, the nagging of a father & the lectures of a mother. now everything's quiet. it's like.. total culture shock. i'm still suffering from the withdrawals of it. it's getting serious, but i'll just sound like a nutcase here.


the first few nights were spent hitting the nightlife, bonding over meals & drinks. but a week was definitely way too short.

& Mummy got Ruran a pair of CROCS. i KNOW. the travesty of it all. such a fashion faux pas on a toddler at a very young, fragile age. but it's all real & genuine. none of the $3.90 fake shizz you find at pasar malams & etc. so credits to Mummy for that, though everyone will probably assume it's fake anyway.

but it was in pink! not such an ugly color at least. & Ruran's only allowed to wear 'em in the house so they won't get dirty, lol. she loves jumping around in them cos they're comfy. videos to be uploaded sometime later.

she's growing to be kinda bratty, but i'll give her some leeway cos she's sorta the "only kid" in the household there. but her screams & whines are deadly. i swear to you.

i know. she's adorable :)

okay, i shall stop rambling & resort to my new books. i got two of 'em for like 30 bucks! which i hope will keep me busy till Poly orientation but i highly doubt so. cos y'know. i have nothing to do. so i read fast.


TAKE ME OUT PEOPLE!!

I'M BOREDDDDDD.

really really really. this time i swear i'm almost totally free.

unless i'm lazy to shower.

x

10:05 PM

0 | comments

Thursday, March 29, 2007

makes me wonder

i altered the playlist on the sidebar. took away a few songs, & added some new ones i uploaded. check out Floatin' by JT, Will.I.Am & Charlie Wilson. super sexy.


so i just came back from the grandparent's place a few hours ago. the paternal ones. the side whom i only see once a year, thrice at most. mainly because they live in some place i don't know how to get to so i usually cab there.

it's not like i hate them.. but i don't exactly love them to death either. especially my aunt. she's a nice lady when she wants to be & all, but she's not exactly one of my favourite persons in the world. & if she were the last 20 people sinking in the sea, she'd be the 10th i'd probably choose to save.

don't hate me. she doesn't quite like me either. or at least, i'm pretty sure she doesn't. we never had a close relationship my whole childhood life, & that i can say was her fault. but recently things took a turn & i've seen for myself that she's changed. in a sense that she's more open towards me & isn't hostile like she was before.

but we never established that niece-aunty-love thing most people have. if i see her other than during festivities, it's either i'm with my mom or it's official business. like getting her to be my guarantor for the poly loan, which i did just now.

i guess even when we talk, it's more on platonic topics. "how are you doing" kinda stuff. like school, or her work (which is mainly just school), or the folks in Jakarta. but just now was different. we talked about the usual stuff (ranging from my education to her work), but somewhere in between i felt a slight shift in the usual plates we stood on. i felt more at ease, more comfortable. more open, & there was even a few genuine laughter moments we shared while waiting for a cab. & as cliched as it is, i felt much better.

maybe i was just stereotyped into thinking she'd never change. i guess now i kinda understand the meaning of being mature & overstepping all childish boundaries with one another. being mature doesn't mean having more responsibilites cos u can jolly well be bad at handling them. maturity comes in the change of mindset, where you're able to think things out more clearly & in a rational manner instead of jumping to conclusions. to be able to compromise with others, & yourself.


or something like that. hahaha.


just thought i'd get something off my chest before i crash into the pillows.
tomorrow's a hectic day.

here goes!


(few pics from Jakarta will be uploaded when i get all the things i need to get done.. done.)

XO

11:11 PM

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i'm back, bitches!

guess who's back. back again. nurul's back..
tell your friends!



okay so that didn't work. well the view from the computer at the airport (those free for 15 mins ones, with no chairs & only one internet window at a time) is kinda cool, i'm facing a MAS plane, with the sign "Visit Malaysia 2007".

oh yes, i will, come Rainforest Fest in July :)


so much to do tmr, everything before 6pm. sigh.
like them Indons say,
"waduh. datang ke Singapura aja, udah pusing banget!"


ok gotta rush & get my baggage!

cheerios loves! x

5:27 PM

0 | comments

Thursday, March 22, 2007

who holds the stars up in the sky?

tonight was very thought provoking.
in the sense that suddenly it felt like there was a lot of things to deal with, & it seemed measurably overwhelming. taking it a step at a time did not even help; it's not something you think you can throw to tomorrow to deal with. maybe it stems from something rooted deep within, something you can't let go of. memories, maybe. the happy beautiful ones, like beautiful pearls strung together on a fine, strong thread. the thread you wear around your neck & finger through, to remind yourself of what you had.
the bits of sand in between... well, it's never too much of a task to brush them away.

separation was never easy to deal with. change is another challenge. refusing to face these two straight on had always been a habit, taking instead the alternative route & delving in oblivion & futile wishing. the third phase of acceptance isn't easy but somewhat more manageable. although wondering bits of why & how appear, accepting what was happening was the best way of forgetting & moving a step forward, maybe two.

but the fourth phase of memory still bites hard on the ass, pulling you back three miles.

maybe it wasn't memory.
maybe it's only me.

maybe it was more of over-dependence. or over-reliance, if you wish. the pillars that you began with, have now been demolished & used to build different pillars. pillars protecting another. shielding another.


how do i say this easily?


i miss you guys. i really do.


love, me.
Xo

12:29 AM

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

sugar-coated with cherries on top.

sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
but I've got friends that love me
& they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
& that's who I am.

10:49 PM

2 | comments

the things we never say.

[Create Message]

Hey, i was holding back just now cos i wasn't sure what to say. what i really wanted to tell you was -

[Delete]

Hey, thanks for breakfast, it was good :) you're probably one of the best people i can talk to, & even though things got a bit awkward -

[Delete]

Hey, i wasn't being totally honest when you asked me just now & you seemed to be a really honest guy when you tell me stuff, so what the hell, i'll just say it. i didn't speak or talk to you the first time cos i was busy replaying the five second explosion of fireworks in my mind over & over, when you turned & smiled at me for the first time. back in the changing room, i was smiling like there was no tomorrow. probably isn't the best thing to tell you now cos of well.. haha, but not gonna be seeing you anytime soon so it won't really hurt innit? anyway, thanks for breakfast - it was delish :) take care, keep in touch. x

[Delete]

Hey i wanted to text you but my phone died so i got malas. haha. anyway thanks for breakfast even though it was like 9 hrs ago haha take care, keep in touch! =)

[Send]

skip.

how am i supposed to tell you that the reason i didn't really wanna see you last night was not only because (as shallow as it is) Desperate Housewives was on, but cos i was meeting someone else after & your suggestion to meet popped out from nowhere & i wasn't willing to leave the place i was at because i'd rather much talk to him than you?


"oh. i wasn't having a good day, sorta. sorry :)"

skip.

don't we all wish we were as honest as the next person?

8:52 PM

0 | comments

Monday, March 19, 2007

you're such a skank, but i don't hate you

someone called my number wanting to get to know me.
apparently someone else put my number for the whole fucking cyberworld to see on some chat forum.
don't take me for some desperate slut who posts her number everywhere.

knncb.

6:06 PM

2 | comments

rant.

opened up the mailbox and as usual it's crammed with countless fliers & unread mail due since two weeks. reached in, felt around for a thick envelope, & pulled it out after having found it.

my Nanyang Poly Enrolment Package.

lol, i make it sound like some kinda serious shizz that'll determine my life & death. eh wait, it does. for the next three years at least. my near future has been (signed) sealed & delivered. (reminds me of the collabo by Blue & Stevie Wonder! which reminds me of Saz! which reminds me of Kuching. :( )

back to the package (& after collecting all unpaid bills & Times mags), tore open the white envelope & found a folder jampacked with forms & all that jazz. blah blee blooh, read through it all, & i realised...

i can't do this alone.

god, i got lost reading all the shit about Tuition Grants (TG), enrolment fees, CPF biznazz, notebook fliers, enrolment procedures, etc. too many words, i prefer pictures. the only pictures i saw were map locations for clinics i can go to get my health checkups for. (did i mention i hate checkups? i hate the sterilised scent we smell in almost all clinics.)

panicked, & called daddy up. explained to him my situation & how i'm drowning in too much responisiblity, but he replied me with irrelevant questions about my L1R4 & L1R5 & STB & everything else except my goddamned problem. i got so frustrated; doesn't he realise how serious this is? the enrolment due date is 30 MARCH for chrissake, which is the friday after this one. less than two weeks. & he's talking about my L1R5? rubbish.

fast forward. i told him straight to the point that i needed him to sign several forms & i can't fax them over as the original copies needed to be handed back in. we both suggested the possibility of me flying to Jakarta for a week, & be back at least two days before 30th March so i can get this over with.

(reeling in my head was that if this was to happen, i have to fly latest by THIS WEDNESDAY, take a good break at the same time in a very short span of time, & that i'd be unable to go Jakarta with Mubarak.)

to add to the trouble, i lost my O Level Result slip. silly me, i know. how careless can i get. but i have my Form A, which has my results in it as well, so i pray it will suffice. otherwise, to put it aptly - i'm just dead lah k.

the conversation ended with him saying "okay, well you sort this out & bring all the papers here & we'll go through them together."

what? am i supposed to get my own tickets, flight, etc?

"look up for cheapest sales & whatever, & go to the ticket agents like the last time."

again, err WHAT? how the hell am i suppose to know how to do this? cos he usually does it so why the sudden turn of tables?

"oh. (awkward silence) okay, then i'll check for you."

he sounded so fucking nonchalant i felt like banging the phone on the floor. does he not get how serious this is? why was he so distracted? is my educational future that non-existent or too pathetic to give more than an ounce of care about?


bah,
everything's happening way too fast. WE ALL NEED TO SLOW DOWN.

5:36 PM

2 | comments

Sunday, March 18, 2007

black coffee

if "goodbye" still meant "see you tomorrow at the park",
or something.

5:51 PM

0 | comments