makes me wonder
i altered the playlist on the sidebar. took away a few songs, & added some new ones i uploaded. check out
Floatin' by JT, Will.I.Am & Charlie Wilson. super
sexy.so i just came back from the grandparent's place a few hours ago. the paternal ones. the side whom i only see once a year, thrice at most. mainly because they live in some place i don't know how to get to so i usually cab there.
it's not like i hate them.. but i don't exactly love them to death either. especially my aunt. she's a nice lady when she wants to be & all, but she's not exactly one of my favourite persons in the world. & if she were the last 20 people sinking in the sea, she'd be the 10th i'd probably choose to save.
don't hate me. she doesn't quite like me either. or at least, i'm pretty sure she doesn't. we never had a close relationship my whole childhood life, & that i can say was her fault. but recently things took a turn & i've seen for myself that she's changed. in a sense that she's more open towards me & isn't hostile like she was before.
but we never established that niece-aunty-love thing most people have. if i see her other than during festivities, it's either i'm with my mom or it's official business. like getting her to be my guarantor for the poly loan, which i did just now.
i guess even when we talk, it's more on platonic topics. "
how are you doing" kinda stuff. like school, or her work (which is mainly just school), or the folks in Jakarta. but just now was different. we talked about the usual stuff (ranging from my education to her work), but somewhere in between i felt a slight shift in the usual plates we stood on. i felt more at ease, more comfortable. more open, & there was even a few genuine laughter moments we shared while waiting for a cab. & as cliched as it is, i felt much better.
maybe i was just stereotyped into thinking she'd never change. i guess now i kinda understand the meaning of being mature & overstepping all childish boundaries with one another. being mature doesn't mean having more responsibilites cos u can jolly well be bad at handling them. maturity comes in the change of mindset, where you're able to think things out more clearly & in a rational manner instead of jumping to conclusions. to be able to compromise with others, & yourself.
or something like that. hahaha.
just thought i'd get something off my chest before i crash into the pillows.
tomorrow's a hectic day.
here goes!
(few pics from Jakarta will be uploaded when i get all the things i need to get done.. done.)
XO
