an attempt at nonchalance.
trouble sleeping leads to camwhoring, how i've changed over the months i think. or so what people have told me, that i'm not the same person they know, or knew. is that really true? have i changed in some significant way that its noticeable for you to point out? what is it? i look at myself both physically & mentally, i don't think i've changed one bit aside from extra mass. i'm still the one trying to string everyone together, trying to be the piece of the puzzle that will fit somewhere. or am i covering one eye by doing this, blinding myself from seeing only what i want to see and not what others do? or maybe you've changed. and you're only telling me that i have, to subtly cover your own insecurity & self aversion, your ignorance & unacceptance of what's become, of what you see when you wake up every morning.
bonne nuit & bon matin; mummy's leaving in less than 12,
i sense the fear coming on again.
